massage nightmare
7 Sep 09 - Monday - 5:03 p.m.
Sis1 bought a package with a fancy massage place some time ago, you know, the kind that only has female clientele, serves you tea in very small cups and plays done to death new age piano music complete with dim lighting.
So anyway, couple of years down the road, Sis1 has 5 more sessions of massage left and was no longer interested in these things. So she told them some story about how she was moving out of the country and was transferring the membership to me since the place is quite near my office.
I was on half-day leave last Thursday [I am *still* clearing my maternity leave…sigh…] and decided to give the place a try. So I called them for an appointment and they asked me for the membership number. Then they ask “Name?” which I took to mean membership name so I gave them Sis1’s name.
When I arrived at the massage place and verified my appointment, they ushered me into a room and proceeded to give me a massage. When they lady was done with my back and I rolled over to the front so that she could work on my hands and all that, she lifted the towel covering my belly and to my utter and complete shock and horror, she jiggled my tummy fat and laughed! She said, “Oh! Fat, ah? Hahahaha!!!” Then she proceeded to attempt to sell me some fat-busting cream. While I was naked and awkward. After she had called me fat.
I managed a gruff “No, thank you” and the rest of the massage passed uneventfully. Then I was asked to sign something and I did. And THAT was when they realised that I wasn’t actually my sister. “Does your sister know that you are using her membership?” the woman asked suspiciously, which, after the whole telling me I am fat and all set me off. I called my sister right on the spot and made her deal with them. Then they made me fill in some form and found out that OH MY GOSH I am still breastfeeding and they shouldn’t have used essential oils on me! WTF. The post-natal massage lady who came to my house after I delivered had no problems using essential oils on me. The people in this place clearly didn’t know what they were doing.
After I had signed all that needed to be signed and answered all the questions that needed to be answered, I put on my shoes to leave and was sorely reminded of why I was never sold on the whole massage idea – I had to try so hard not to fall off my shoes. I struggled out of the shopping mall into the nearest taxi. Settling back into the seat safely away from rude massage people and on the way home to Peanut, I was relieved that the ordeal is over.
But then it wasn’t.
The next morning, I woke up with a massive ache in my left shoulder and couldn’t move it very much for the rest of the day. Bad massages do that to you, said The Other Half, after laughing at me for a while.
And when I told Sis1 about it, she said to me, “How? I still got four more sessions!!”